insomnia

so another night, another bout of insomnia.......
this time it is near 3 am for me and i have to be up at 5 for morning cardio - so why bother sleeping i will just be groggy and trudging through if i do. I sit here or walk around my apartment yawning with sleepy eyes but then every time I lay in my bed - boom - wide awake. so frustrating......
So today I worked on some more designs that I want to put on apparel and I counted out the weeks to my first competition (22 btw). So offseason is almost over - I'm marking Christmas as my official end to off season. From there I will start to be more rigid with my cardio - that's really only area I slack off on in the off season - the lifts are better than ever.

I often wonder if it's better to try and sleep or whether it is better to stay up if that is what your body wants to do. Sleep is very important, especially in bodybuilding and for your health. At night a lot of chemical processes take place in the body that help with repair and recovery and get you ready to face another day. So in that regard I really should be asleep right now, a lot of muscle building occurs at night. But if I can't sleep then I'm stressing because I'm frustrated about simply lying in bed, then I start getting anxious about being up in the morning and anticipating how tired I'm going to be in the morning. This is good at all because that causes process to occur that counteract everything I work for (such as the release of cortisol). So I get up and work - read, work on the comp, whatever strikes my fancy so that my mind is removed from the anxiety of not sleeping.

Had the holiday party for the studio tonight (technically last night since it is now Friday). You would think with all my time on stages and in front of crowds and working with people I would feel completely at ease and look forward to parties. I don't though - I always feel awkward and out of place. Though I did get a lot from the party. Some very good business conversations with some possibly exciting ventures in the future in both personal training and acting.